Disclaimer :: this was written back in June but failed to be send out into the world. The sentiments are still valid, so thought I would post it, even if several months out of date.
Is there anything more conflicted (or sad) than a maker without access to making? It makes for bouts of wistfulness. Adds to the ever present restlessness in my soul.
Making grounds me. Energizes me. Is me.
Without the making, do I exist? Yes, is the obvious answer, but maybe not completely. Maybe I’m just being stubborn. Petulant, even. There is so much I can do electronically. I have tons of designs to create, to edit, improve, or to re-imagine. New techniques to share, and tutorials to record. But somehow, I am unmotivated. Seems I need that juggling act of many types of projects at once to allow the energy to flow.
It’s been about 8 months since I’ve had a proper creative space. Much of my ‘stash’ and tools are waiting in storage while we are in temporary accomodations. Our last home wasn’t perfect, in terms of workspace, but it was a good space to live in, and it was beautiful.
When I am at sixes and sevens, nostalgia for places that have felt most like home hits hard. For me, it is Scotland. Always.
It’s been years since we left. To date, I’ve not been able to gather the courage to return. It breaks my heart every time I have to leave.
But someday I will go back. I must go back. Perhaps to attend the wonderful and wooly Shetland Wool Week? Perhaps for research for a book. Time will tell, but the Highlands are calling me. As ever.
In the meantime, there are memories of place, of home, to soothe a weary soul. But enough of this…
I am still making, thank the gods for knitting. It is easy to keep in a small space, doesn’t require too many additional tools besides the essential sticks and string.
When in-between places, or travelling, my go-to is a large laceweight shawl of 700-1000 metres. However, it seems that I can now bang off a beaded lace shawl of 700 m in only a couple of weeks so the theory that a 1000 m lace project can keep me content for any significant length of time seems to have been debunked.
Ah well. Good things are happening and a creative space is being made maifest. I just need to be patient (ha!), trust the process, and focus on the good, of which there is an abundance!
So please forgive the maudlin tone, even those of us with the sunniest of dispositions are allowed a few grey days now and again.
Speaking of grey… this is a little shawl that I whipped up to match my Greyscape jumper featured in the last post.
I love having a matching shawl and it’s a good way to use up the little bits after a stash busting jumper. Think I should write this one up as a pattern? Let me know.
Have a beautiful day,